Hockey and Such

I have been way too serious the past couple of days, I must be sober or something. So I'm trying to get back to being my normal funny crazy self. I've decided to talk hockey today. Well, I'm kind of going to talk about hockey. I'm going to talk about Eric Lindros. Yummy.

Now why am I an Eric Lindros fan when I'm an obvious Islander fan since birth? Simple. He's gorgeous.
I don't even care that he's gay. I love him anyway. I wouldn't even try to make him like women, I just want to stare at him all day and night and drool. I've even thought of writing to him to propose an offer that I think he can't refuse. Since professional athletes can't really say they're gay without terrible over reaction from the media and the fans he needs my help. Now I'm quite sure he dates Elvis Stojko,the figure skater, in real life but he needs a woman in his life to remove all doubts of his homosexuality, this is where Patsy stumbles in drunk. I will pose as his girlfriend and he can keep dating Elvis. I do have certain conditions. He buys me all the beer I want. I even get that really strong Canadian beer that we can't get here because it's like moonshine, I get to take as many naked pics of him as I want and cover the walls of an entire room with them, that's pretty much it, god I'm easy. How could he turn me down? This is a pretty good offer from where I'm sitting.




How do you think I should word the letter exactly? Should I get drunk before,after or while I write it?

Did I forget to mention that he can stay at my house and I'll nurse him back to health every time he gets injured? Yes I know that means he will spend most of the season at my place injured, but that's the plan. Oh yeah and he must be completely naked the entire time. He will fall madly in love with me and always keep my fridge stocked with yummy expensive beer.

I need so little in life to be truly happy. If you have an ideas about what I should say in my letter to Eric,please feel free to let me know. Maybe tomorrow I'll seriously talk about hockey.


Good night sweetie darlings.


*Patsy starts to drink